"We aren't lying, and that's the truth," a spokesperson for MegaHugeCo said today at a press conference they convened themselves. "Our vast, highly paid marketing teams advised us that our customers might have grounds for legal action after all, and so we can assure you with a straight face that we do not lie, we have not lied, and i'm telling the truth about us not being liars. I'm not even crossing my fingers behind my back."
The spokesperson went on to state that they didn't see any signed documents lying around that said "OMG THIS IS A SEKRIT NSA AGREEMENT D00D," and that since they aren't liars as explained above you can believe them about that too.
"We conducted an internal review, meaning that a confidential memo was circulated to all employees informing them that discussing this issue would be grounds for termination - but that's no problem, since there's nothing to discuss since, to reiterate, we don't lie. I mean come on, us? Lie?! I swear to you on the strength of our customer service, our DSL expertise, and our ability to install service on a given promised date, we're telling the truth, gosh darnit yes sireebob!"
The spokesperson went on to state that they didn't see any signed documents lying around that said "OMG THIS IS A SEKRIT NSA AGREEMENT D00D," and that since they aren't liars as explained above you can believe them about that too.
"We conducted an internal review, meaning that a confidential memo was circulated to all employees informing them that discussing this issue would be grounds for termination - but that's no problem, since there's nothing to discuss since, to reiterate, we don't lie. I mean come on, us? Lie?! I swear to you on the strength of our customer service, our DSL expertise, and our ability to install service on a given promised date, we're telling the truth, gosh darnit yes sireebob!"
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